I cannot take credit for this but thought it would be an interesting read. A colleague of mine sent this to me.
No Child Left Behind _ Football Version
The football version of what is going on in education right now. (If
You are not an educator; this may not make a lot of sense to you. But
Send it to your friends who are in education. They will love it!)
1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the
If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation
until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If
after two years they have not won the championship their footballs and
equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the championship.
2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the
same time, even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities
to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of
interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic
abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents. ALL KIDS WILL
PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!
3. Talented players will be asked to workout on their own, without
instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their
instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in football,
have limited athletic ability or whose parents don't like football.
4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in
the 4th, 8th, and 11th game. This will create a New Age of Sports where
every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams
will reach the same minimum goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child
Is left behind. If parents do not like this new law, they are
encouraged to vote for vouchers and support private schools that can
screen out the non - athletes and prevent their children from having to go
to school with bad football players.